Adult AD/HD and the Holidays
Take one look at the list of issues commonly shared by adults with AD/HD and it is easy to see why the holidays present a particular challenge to us. From pulling out all the winter clothes and finding and setting up decorations to shopping and deciding what to buy. It can be a very busy time, so it pays to take the time to make a plan. No matter what the occasion, the first rule of thumb is to use one place to write down all of your upcoming events. Remember to write in any specifics: Time to be there, formal or informal dress, who you are meeting, any gifts to bring, and directions to get there. If you need to prepare any items, write them in a few days previous to the event to remind yourself.
Create a Holiday Project Plan
The number three definition of the word "project" in Webster's Dictionary is, "A planned undertaking." Some people might think that planning takes all the fun and spontaneity out of life. Well, I happen to disagree. I prefer enjoying the holidays with family and friends instead of sharing Christmas Eve with the late shift crew at my local department store (doing last minute shopping). So with that being said we have a few recommendations that we think will help you to get more out of this wonderful holiday season and feel a little less overwhelmed come January.
Start Planning in November:
1. Cards, a small, but very important part of the holiday season.
- Create a master address list. Making this list will allow you to easily see the addresses that you are missing. Now you can call people ahead of time to get their address. This may seem daunting, but you only have to do it once. Tip: Keep this list in your planner or in your project notebook. That way you'll have it for years to come. You'll be smiling next year!
- Purchase holiday cards. Tip, buying in bulk saves money, time, and energy. You may end up sending out duplicate cards, but you can make them all original works of art with your Earnest Hemmingway wit!
- Pick up stamps at the Post Office.
- Mail cards immediately! You don't want to discover all those wonderful cards in the junk drawer come January. It's better to send the cards a little early than too late.
2. Gift buying, realistic spending will help prevent buyer's remorse...
- Take a close look at your finances. Decide on a realistic budget for the holiday season. It's important to consider any/all travel and/or entertaining expenses. The little things usually do the most damage, because they multiply so quickly. So give yourself a healthy buffer for incidental expenses.
- List all the holiday parties you will be attending (work/family/friends) and list all the people you will be buying gifts for this year. It might help to include a few small generic gifts. You won't be empty handed for an impromptu party.
- Plot out your shopping excursions in your planner. Be realistic about shopping time. It usually takes longer than we think. Something that helps me keep to my budget is shopping with cash or checks. This helps me avoid overspending and enables me to set well defined limits. For me, credit cards make shopping too easy. Tip- If you plan to shop online, make sure you consider shipping time. Place all orders by December 1st.
- Check you gift wrapping supplies. Note all needed supplies in your planner. Again, buying in bulk usually saves you money.
These four simple steps can reduce impulse purchases, holiday anxiety, guilt, post-holiday credit card shock and hopefully allow you to enjoy the holidays more fully and more thankfully.
Linda
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ADD Men and "Relationship Rapport"
At the recent CHADD Conference, we had the pleasure of meeting some of the outstanding people that give their time and efforts to help ADDers like Us. Joe Martinez is one of those people. A coach and a writer, Joe attended the conference, giving out complimentary copies of his brand new release. It is a great read highlighting the important issue of creating and maintaining "Relationship Rapport".
The book includes some great examples of issues we know cause frustration and we are delighted to share some highlights here with you.
Burnout or Fulfillment - Your Choice! A woman will always give all she has. When the ADD Male offers her support and understanding in a way that she feels safe, she will feel supported and not dysfunctional. Especially of value to the ADD guys is what to say and what NOT to say, including safe follow-up questions for any conversation. Shut up and let her talk! Most ADD guys don't understand that a woman needs to talk to express her feelings, in order to relax and connect with her partner. Most of the time it's not personal. The woman can prepare her partner to listen to her in a way that he does not feel responsible to "fix" any problem. In addition, the ADD guy (or any guy) can make small changes to increase the sense of "being heard" by his mate. No TV or newspapers in the background, just his full attention - wow, isn't life good! If you are currently working through relationship issues, Driven by the Moment can be ordered through Performance Plus! Coaching.
Order Driven by the Moment
Learn about Joe Martinez
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